Waiting for morning...

Have you ever thought how hard it would have to be...
So many of the stories we know and love in the Bible, I think we take for granted.

We know the beginning from the end... we've read it a thousand times... heard from multiple Pastors and in 3 different ways... but have we really considered the brokenness that each of the "Bible Characters" had to go through? (why do we call them characters? no wonder my mind categorizes it as fiction even when I believe it to be true).

Think about this:

Adam- could you imagine the depression and disappointment when he finally realizes the repercussions of the one bad thing he did... to the point of it being known to this day as "THE FALL OF MAN" Wow, not to mention his son killing his other son... talk about soap opera

What about Noah. For half of his life he was just minding his own business walking with God and then he's called to build the ark... could you imagine when all of his friends literally do die... and they could have been saved if they would have listened to him...

Or Abraham, so often he was just so confused. He knew what God said but just didn't know what to do in the mean time while "waiting" for God's plan to come along... I mean, he knew that he had some role to play in a son being created in his wife's womb... he just didn't know how far he should go on his end of the deal. Or even before that in having to leave everything you know behind and go to another place, or have such an incredibly beautiful wife that you lie and say she's your sister so no one gets hurt.

Or Isaac, or Jacob, or especially Joseph... one day you have this wicked awesome dream of how the Lord is going to use you as a leader and then you find yourself as a slave and then a prisoner... not exactly how he thought he'd spend the next 10 years of his life...

David, the judges, oh, not to mention all the prophets... man, so much brokenness... there just seems to be so many crazy things that constantly happen.

The coolest part though, is seeing the change when the Lord comes onto the scene...

Noah is no longer a sad boat builder but the man who was chosen by God to carry on civilization.

Abraham is no longer a man who has no descendants, but the Father of many Nations (including the two main people groups who are fighting over Jerusalem right now... imagine that).

Joseph is no longer a slave and a prisoner, but he becomes salvation for his family as they may not have survived through the famine without him.

David, no a longer a sheep herding boy, but the warrior and ruler of a great nation.

Even Job... or Daniel... or Shad, Rach, and Benny (Some serious brokenness going on right there)

So here's where my hope lies. In Him. Brokenness in this world leads to wholeness.

Which was perfectly portrayed in Christ's life, death, and resurrection. What appears as death and defeat on the cross was really done by God to bring us from our rightful places of brokenness to the amazing unbelievable lives of wholeness and salvation through Him. His Brokenness leads to our Victory. His pain created a way for our healing.

Becoming worthless and broken in this life leads us to being a treasure and tool for Christ.

Sooo...

I am broken right now.
(Perhaps not in the "no house or food" type of brokenness, but definitely in a deeper and further recessed place in my soul- it's definitely a harder place to be in then I've ever known)

So now I'm waiting... I'm waiting for healing... I'm waiting on the Lord.

I have hope in Him. Hope that His purposes are still strong, His will is still being fulfilled, and His love and life is still flowing.

I know He is the Restorer.

Sorrow may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning.

Oh, how I can't wait for morning...

My Daddy part II

Last time I wrote about my Dad, I spoke of his love for the Lord and the days that seemed to be coming to an end. I'd like to share you with you some of events that have taken place since.


I spent the first weekend in March with my Dad and the family. It was filled with good times even though my Dad had come to a point of not being able to speak any longer. On Monday, March 8th I was able to take a day off of school and spend it with my Dad. I remember specifically sitting on the edge of the hospital bed that was set up in the living room of the house, that held all of memories growing up, listening to K-Love through the computer. My Dad always Loved listening to K-Love during the day in the house, when once again my Daddy's song "How He Loves" began to play. (I remember the first time hearing the song at home through the radio with him sitting across the room in his lazy boy- when I told him that this was one of my favorite songs, he began to cry and whimpered "Oh, how did I know you'd love this.") In spite of a lack of response to almost anything, all at once my Dad's baby blue eyes began peeking through the small slits that we hadn't seen in quite a while, then as the chorus began "Oh, how He loves us so..." I began to see little creases forming around his mouth as his whispered ever so slightly the words of the chorus from his most beloved song. I will never forget the strenuous effort I saw in the small movement of my Father's face that day. I couldn't help but sing with him and know that as he moved to his mouth to the words of that song, that he understood more of jealous God's love and was closer than ever to seeing it face to face.

As the song slowly ended I kissed my Daddy on the cheek, I told him I loved him, and then I ever so gently felt him return a sweet kiss while silently mouthing "I love you" in return.

Throughout the day we had visitors and many wonderful friends come over to visit. I was glad I could spend that time with my Mom and Dad and friends- it was good.

So, the next day I went to school and taught a normal day with my wonderful fifth and sixth graders. They were so encouraging and loving and it truly was a great time with them... but deep down there was this hesitancy, I knew that at any moment my Dad could be gone... that may have been my last kiss. At 2:32 on that Tuesday, March 9th I was tying up a math lesson when I got a call from my mom, I knew that this was it. In an instant, as I heard the bellowing of undecipherable words on the other end of the phone, I knew the moment had finally arrived. I called the Principle and she came to cover my class. I grabbed my things and ran out the door to go to my parent's house, which was thankfully only 5 minutes away. As I ran to the truck it was surreal. I hopped into the truck and as I did a wave of emotion washed over me... this was it, he was gone, I would never see my Dad's smile, I would never here him call me "little chip," he wouldn't be able to fix my car, I wouldn't be able to sit on his lap, he wouldn't tell me I was beautiful, he wouldn't stand behind me and put his hand on my neck and give me that gentle squeeze of assurance that he was there, he wouldn't be able to walk me down the aisle at my wedding, he wouldn't meet my children, he wouldn't be there for me to cry with, he wouldn't show me his new favorite songs on the computer and weep, no longer would I be able to talk to him about Jesus or food or racing... I would never feel his warm embrace... he was gone... and as all of these thoughts continued to overwhelm me with an awful dread I found myself already driving up the hill by my school. My mind continued to race through all the implication that my Daddy's death would have on me, my family, and our friends... when suddenly out of the corner of my eye I saw a dust devil forming in the corner of a large dirt field that I was passing... it was forming fast and no sooner had I recognized that there was a dust devil coming toward me had I recognized that the radio in my truck was also on and guess what it was playing? Yep, you guessed it, "How He Loves." Then the most peculiar thing happened. As the first verse of the song repeated the dust devil came swirling toward me and all at once it hit my truck and came blowing in through the driver side window hitting me with an intense yet refreshing blow of warm sand filled wind... and as it did the chorus came from the speakers with these words: "He is jealous for me, LOVE'S like a HURRICANE I am the tree, bending beneath the waves of His wind and mercy... when all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory... and I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me." What happened next is hard to explain but in that moment a "peace that surpasses ALL understanding" enveloped me and suddenly I was filled with a joy and an assurance, as if from God Himself, that said "this moment is far from the end... it is the beginning, he knows me and sees me... trust me Kallie, he is with Me." My words do not give that moment justice, but you can ask anyone who was there that day and they will probably say that "Kallie was full of joy, maybe even a little too much joy." But let me tell you... the Lord met me in my breaking and it was so beautiful!

The days that followed came and went quickly, and yes, I had my moments of break down, but the Lord continued to give me joy and peace like never before. My Dad was able to have his planned song played and his favorite "That's my King" speech shown by video as well. The day went well and the Lord was ever present!

In all honesty, life has continued to be a roller coaster of emotions as the memorial was not the last time I would speak of think of my Daddy... and yes, I miss him tremendously. I would love feel his embrace again... but I know that something even better awaits. I know that one day I will be reunited with my Daddy in heaven. I know that he is already there at the finish line waiting the rest of us who are running the race. Oh, how I can't wait for that day! So, I guess what I would like to ask you is this- Will you meet us there? We are not guaranteed tomorrow, and I am not trying to push any agenda, but I know that this life will end... I've seen it face to face. Death is real, but so is life and Jesus gave us a way to come into the life with Him and with all of the other believers that have gone before us. So, once again, do you know Him? He wants to know you.

Again, thank you for taking the time to hear my story of my Daddy's new beginning and I pray that the Holy Spirit will speak to you through my story. God is faithful and so good... and His love... oh man, it is SO NOT tame! His love is a hurricane... His grace is an ocean... and one day it will all meet like a sloppy wet kiss! Thank you all for your love, your prayers, and your thoughts... my family needed every one of them.

Love,
Kallie

She Looks to the Sky

All I can say about this song is... WOW!

Oh, how I desire to be in this place and remain there... waiting for that day!

May this be true for all of us in this journey in drawing near to the Lord...

being content, complete, and brimming with HIM!

Let us look to the sky

She Looks To The Sky by Sherri Youngward

They say she is loved by the greatest of all
Who have walked in the world
He lives far away still she spends all her days
Content with only his words

She often walks alone
But never is she lonely
You can offer her anything
Her affections are all for Him only

She looks to the sky
As if He is coming down through the clouds up above
Though no one has seen Him you cannot deny
She is drenched in His love

(Pre-chorus)

All the day long she sings sweetly
She says He speaks to her mind
She’s only rich with affliction
Yet a bitter word you won’t find

She lives with assurance
He loves her too deeply to let such distance remain
She’s brimming with longing for Him to come calling
And sweep her away

My Daddy

About two years ago, my Dad went into the hospital with Pancreatitis, gall stones, and kidney stones- all of which are very serious, especially for a man of 66 years old and not in top condition to begin with. He had been taken by care-flight to Renown in Reno and from the beginning the Doctors didn’t have a very good prognosis. At one point the doctors explained to us that he had flat-lined and they had to bring him back.

One day specifically, was very hard. The surgeon who had been on my Dad’s case told us plainly that his pancreas had disintegrated and that no one can live without a pancreas. His conclusion was that my Dad would not leave the hospital alive and that he only had days to live. I remember the pain and heart ache that I felt when I first heard those words. My heart was breaking. I was only 23 years old. My Daddy couldn’t leave yet. I went to the waiting room with my amazing friend Jeni and we began to pray. The Lord lead us to read the Word and as we read we came upon the story of Lazarus. Could it be? Was it possible that my Dad could leave the hospital by the power of God? My mind told me no, but my Spirit felt that it was right. As we prayed the Lord spoke to me, I heard Him say over and over again, “My Name will by glorified. You see from below but I see from above. It is so much bigger… it isn’t about you or even your Dad… My Name WILL be glorified.”

Jeni and I left the waiting room encouraged and knowing, that no matter what it looked like and no matter what happened, that God would be glorified through my Daddy’s life. A couple of months later my Daddy came home! He still had several different issues and he definitely had not seen his last hospital, but he DID leave the hospital and when he came home, he came with a new idea of what life should be like. He came home with a passion and a zeal for Jesus Christ like he had never had before… he was a revived man.

He went from being a man of his living room chair and racing to a man who could not help but talk about Jesus and what He had done in his life. Ever since I had been born my Dad had committed his life to the Lord. Early on in my life he was very involved in the church that I grew up in, but then there was a time when he backed off a bit. For all of my life, I knew my Daddy believed in Jesus, but I would seldom hear him speak of God apart from church and Sundays. It wasn’t until I was a sophomore in college and my Daddy volunteered to drive with me back to Indiana, so that I would have a car at school that I learned about his walk with his heavenly Daddy! During that trip I found out how he first met the Lord. I learned of Jesus’ power in his life. I learned of miracles that God had done throughout my Dad’s life. I learned of the true worship experiences that my Dad had during the first years of being a believer and I learned of his love for his Jesus. What a blessing those times were. At that time, I learned that my Dad was much more than a church-goer, He was I lover of Jesus!

Now, after his time in the hospital, everyone else was now able to see his great love for the Lord. They saw the change in my Daddy and no one could doubt Who he lived for. Even his demeanor seemed to change. At times, growing up, my Dad had been short tempered and he frequently used his infamous string of curse words, but after he left the hospital, the words were seldom heard and there was a constant peace and love about him.

My Daddy was also filled with a new boldness and sudden urge to call almost everyone that he hadn’t talked to in years. Most of the time it just left me wondering what was going through his head, and yet it was a very sweet time. It was as if he had been given a second chance to live for the Lord- a personal revival.

He became a very sentimental and emotional man. This was most evident when he listened to a song called “How He Loves.” For the last six months or so my Dad would play this song for every single person that walked into his house, and every time he got to the third verse of the song (that can only be heard when sung by John Mark McMillan) the tears would just flow. EVERY TIME! You’d think after a while that he would get numb when listening to this song… NO. Every time it played he was moved… he was moved by the description of God’s love that was so amazingly displayed.

After one of the visits in the hospital the Lord had given him a vision of reaching out to those who don't have the hope of Christ through that song a long with the words of a sermon called "That's My King." My Daddy knew everyone should hear these things and he wanted it all put together with pictures of the Passion of the Christ. So, he set out to planning. Everyone he could get to, he told about his idea. At one point he even got our pastor to show the “How He Loves” video on a Wednesday night before Bible Study and by the end he was standing, singing the song, tears flowing down his cheeks. It was beautiful and his passion was not easily quenched.

Even within the last couple times he returned to the hospital he would speak of how he put on the Spiritual Armor in Ephesians 6 and he would repeat loudly verse 19 of that chapter, “Pray also for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel., for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.” (NKJV) And let me tell you... every nurse, doctor, and assistant heard about Jesus. That was what he wanted to do… he wanted to speak loudly for all to hear, of the one who loved us, the One who loved so deeply and powerfully, the One whose love went to the point of death to take away our sins. That is who he wanted to tell the whole world about.

So… why am I telling you this? Well, within the last couple weeks a lot has changed. Not Spiritually for my Dad, but physically. He returned to the hospital two weeks ago, where they found that his pancreatitis has returned along with an infection in his blood from an unknown source. While at the hospital, the Doctor gave him two options. 1-He could go on through months of tests and procedures of trying to figure out exactly where this infection is coming from with an unknown end result or 2- He could go home. On Wednesday February 28^th my Daddy decided to come home. He was finished and done with being poked and prodded and he was ready to go home, be with his family, rest, and eventually be with his Heavenly Daddy. This last week his body stopped receiving and absorbing all foods and medicines. BUT praise the Lord, God is still working and moving in mighty ways. My Dad has not been in any pain at all- which is more of a miracle then you know! He is comfortable and awaiting the arrival of his Savior.

I am telling you all of this because as my Daddy has comes to the last days of his life, I know he wouldn’t want it to be a time of pity or mourning for you or my family. But, he would want it to be a time of praise, worship, and salvation! I’m not sure who all will be reading this… but I know, no matter how you knew my Daddy, he would want you to know who he is going to meet. He is going to meet his Daddy… His heavenly Daddy! You see he is finally going to see his Lord face to face. He has lived for Him for so long, spoke of Him, listened to Him but at last he is going to receive the goal of his faith, the salvation of his soul! This should not be a time of sadness but a time of jubilee.

Don’t get me wrong, this is going to be a tough time for many who loved my Daddy so much, but only because we will miss his presence here with us. The truth is… we are the ones jealous of him, but we look forward to being reunited with him one day! Until then I think my Daddy would want to ask… DO YOU KNOW HIM? Do you know that He is jealous for you? Here is the song How He Loves by John Mark McMillan- my Daddy would want you to hear it!

He is jealous for me. Loves like a hurricane, I am the tree, bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy. When all of sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, and I realize just how beautiful you are and how great Your affections are for me… OH, How He Loves Us; Oh, How He Loves Us; How He Loves US, Oh.

We are His portion, and He is our prize; drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes; if His grace is an ocean we’re all sinking. So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest, I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about… the way He loves us

Whoa, How He loves us
Whoa, How He loves us
Oh, How He LOVES!

If only we all thought this way...

I'm re-reading a book called The Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews. It's a great book if you haven't read it... you should!

Here is an excerpt that I think everyone should read and follow... life would be so much simpler...

The First Decision for Success

The buck stops here.

From this moment forward , I will accept responsibility for my past. I understand that the beginning of wisdom is to accept responsibility for my past, I free myself to move into a bigger, brighter future of my own choosing.

Never again will I blame my parents, my spouse, my boss, or other employees for my present situation. Neither my education nor my lack of one, my genetics, or the circumstantial ebb and flow of everyday life will affect my future in a negative way. If I allow myself to blame these uncontrollable forced for my lack of success, I will be forever caught in a web of the past. I will look forward. I will not let my history control my destiny.

The buck stops here. I accept responsibility for my past. I am responsible for my success.

I am where I am today-- mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially-- because of decisions I have made. My decisions have always been governed by my thinking. Therefore, I am where I am today-- mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially-- because of how I think. Today I will begin the process of changing where I am-- mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially-- by changing he way I think.

My thoughts will be constructive, never destructive. My mind will live in the solutions of the future. It will not dwell in the problems of the past. I will seek the association of those who are working and striving to bring about positive changes in the world. I will never seek comfort by associating with those who have decided to be comfortable.

When faces with the opportunity to make a decision, I will make one. I understand that God did not put in me the ability to ALWAYS make right decisions. But he did, however, put in me the ability to make a decision and then make it right. The rise and fall of my emotional tide will not deter me from my course. When I make a decision, I will stand behind it. My energy will go into making the decision. I will waste none on second thoughts. My life will not be an apology. It will be a statement.

The buck stops here. I control my thoughts. I control my emotions.

In the future when I am tempted to ask the question "Why me?" I will immediately counter with the answer: "Why not me?" Challenges are gifts, opportunities to learn. Problems are the common thread running through the lives of great men and women. In times of adversity, I will not have a problem to deal with I will have a choice to make. My thoughts will be clear. I will make the right choice. Adversity is preparation for greatness. I will accept this preparation. Why me? Why not me? I will be prepared for something great!

I accept responsibility for my past. I control my thoughts. I control my emotions. I am responsible for my success.

The buck stops here.

I've got to let it out continued from last night...

So we're getting ready for bed and I'm preparing to "pray them to sleep" as I have been told I have a gift for, when one of my precious girls spoke up with a different request. After that evening teaching one of the younger ladies who we had seen around camp seemed to have some sort of problem, to the point to where her Dad had to take to the car. The girls told me that they were a bit disturbed by the innocent, mainly because she was acting out and yelling things that were against God. After hearing a little more, I realized that I had actually talked to this lady earlier in the day and her name was Catherine. My encounter with her had been strange as well, but I had blown it off because sometimes people just respond different to me anyway. So that night after hearing about all of this we all were able to come before the Lord and lift up Catherine to Him, asking Him to take control of her and give her the AMAZING love that we had already been learning about... and they fell asleep as I prayed... (it really doesn't bother me :)

So i wake up at 5:30 in the morning... and it was actually a lot easier than I thought it would be (for getting four hours of sleep). I took a shower and headed up to the lodge, to my dismay the quiet time I desired seemed to slip right through my hands as entered the lodge finding the cleaning crew... (all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purposes.) well, that was kind of an exageration, the cleaning crew was actually one lady. Still feeling refreshed I smiled at her and began a bit of small talk... which soon lead to the Lords promise being fulfilled!

This wonderful woman of God that I ended up face to face with at 5:30 in the morning was Betsy. Betsy is the Mother of Catherine- the young lady in which we prayed for the night before. As we began to talk and Catherine became the point of our conversation, it hit me like a ton of bricks... this is what the had been waiting to give me. He REALLY DID speak to me. He had preordained this moment. Soon I learned the testimony of my friend Catherine. I learned of the many sad details of her life, I learned of how she had slowly slipped away and believed the lies of the enemy. I learned of how she was in an aweful accident and had turned to blame God. I learned of how people in the church made fun of her and treated her like trash. I learned how she found comfort working at a park where she met, fell in love with, and eloped to a man who had hurt her more than I knew to be possible. I learned how Catherine was put in a mental institution by this men, who left without even a name to be called by. I learned of her parents outrageous love to rescue her and the ever ever unfailing love a TRUE God was continually faithful and drawing her near. I learned that Catherine has just begun coming out in public within the last 6 months. I learned how she has just within the last two weeks responded to people around her, and I learned that within the last two days she had actually held some what of conversations with people... including me. I was astounded and filled with joy and expectation as I learned all these aweful and beautiful things about Catherine, and I knew she was part of our purpose.

That morning at the workshop we had the amazing priveledge to hear catherine's story from her mom as she joined us! And to the amazement (shows you have faithless I am) it tied in perfectly to what the Lord chose to speak through me that morning. The Holy Spirit spoke to us about the importance of the armor of the Lord. That we are called as believers to be clothed in it. That we are to where the amazing and powerful belt of Truth... knowing the He is the Truth. The breast plate of righteousness (the piece of the armor that protects our heart) purity, love, and modesty that God has called us to put on. Our feet shod with the gospel of peace- no matter where we go we are to proclaim the truth of the gospel in peace and love. The helmet of salvation- keeping every thought captive to Him and thinking on whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, or praiseworthy! Then taking up the shield of faith and the sword of the Spirit. Being grounded in the Word... knowing WHO our God is. Knowing who we are IN Him. Knowing that a part from Him we can do NOTHING (John 15), and then truly believing it and living it. trusting in Him.

We spoke of how the enemy has come to steal, kill, and destroy, but Christ came to give us life and to the FULL. We talked about how the enemies most powerful lie... is that there is no battle. That all is well, and when there is a problem that arises it is your fault or someone elses. That there is nothing more to it. That you should just allow distractions in your life, that you can carry your burdens on your own, that you don't need your sword or your shield... there isn't a battle. And the TRUTH is he is trying to trip you and get you on your own, becuase he knows he's defeated when Christ is in you, but he knows that if he can get you on your own-thinking you can trust in yourself... that is when he seeks those in whom he may devour.

That is why Christ has called us to be in the VINE! to ABIDE in Him... because apart from Him we can do nothing. But in HIM nothing will be impossible.

The workshop ended with a time of prayer for Catherine and for eachother. That our eyes would be open to see that we wrestle not against flesh and blood... and that more than anything we need our Lord and Savior to be in and a part of every part of our life!! We need to hunger and thirst for Him and His word and just simply be in His presence and pray to HIM.

Oh, but that was not the end... that night Ben did his painting... and guess what it was on- oh yeah! Spiritual warfare baby! What an amazing God and schedule He had set up... He knew what He was doing and man do I need to trust Him more!

There is so much more and my heart is still just overwhelmed with God's goodness! I have enjoyed fellowship and sooo much prayer lwith like minded believers -like never before... now to just keep it that way... Will you joing me in living for Him? In praying at every moment possible- without an shame! Constantly coming before Him and making Him your number one priority!

I've got to let it out

So this last week was camp... and I have soooooo stinkin much running through my heart and mind I can barely keep a level head so for the next couple, minutes, days or hours... I'm going to just let it spill over... if its boring- stop reading, but on the other hand... maybe the Lord has something for you to hear, He's pretty cool like that!



Where to begin?

First... this camp was not a mountain top experience... it was life changing one, seriously, my prayer life, my thought life, my life won't be the same. I have felt ways in the past couple weeks that I have never felt before... some aweful, some amazing, all interesting!



So let's just start with Monday. Sierra Pines this year was taken over by some new people. They have made some great changes to the camp groud, but we we're a little nervous because we had known the staff in the past. Well, let me back up a bit to Friday before camp... okay actually last year. Oh my, so these savage Godly men from Calvary Chapel San Jose came out for camp last year and throughout the year we've all kept in touch pretty well with all of them... meaning Zachariah and Daniel. Well, on friday I was texting Zach because since like last November we've been trying to get them to come out for Summer Camp and just chill and totally learn with us and fellowship. In all honesty, I don't think any of us thought it was going to happen for a while, but then we started praying more and more about it and I totally felt like the Lord was like... Kallie Zach is coming to camp and I was like- WOW, yes that rocks! So I texted Zach and he was like- dude, I don't know, but then da da daaaaaaaa miraculously it was possible! But then we weren't sure about Daniel, it might just be Zach alone (oh, sad days), but then.... Daniel had amazing provision as well... so Saturday morning I hopped in the (borrowed) excursion and drove to Fulsom to pick them up! On the way back to Gville... we had some pretty rock awesome God conversation icluding a discussion on Hosea and returning to our first love!



So along comes Sunday our day to leave for camp, well at the last minute Zach is asked to teach the youth group Sunday morning before going to camp and guess what he talks about... returning to your first love!! Which rocked... well at the time I was actually a little bummed because that was part of what I was going to share in my workshop on Tuesday... but I was like, ok, whatever Lord maybe they need to hear it twice.



So Sunday night is amazing, a great time of surrendering our sins and reconniing our need for our Savior. Monday comes and BoB teaches the girl workshop, while Darren McCarthy (our outstanding worship leader for the week: http://www.darrenmccarthymusic.com/ ) lead the boys workshop, it was great. Awesome time of learning of God's love with PJ Lewis, fun games and then the talent show... well actually I still wasn't quite ready for my workshop, so I left the talent show and spent some time studying and praying. Now while I was praying I totally felt like the Lord had said, "I have something else for you, but you have to wait for it, you'll be getting it later." Well, this kind of threw me back. What in the world... when was I going to be "getting it" and I didn't have time, I had to speak the next morning! So after hearing a mouse in our cabin, I headed back up to the lodge utterly frustrated and feeling like a complete procrastinator and failure, but then I saw my wonderful Whitney and she was like, "hey, want to pray," and I totally needed to, so we went on the deck and looked at the stars and prayed and as we finished praying Whitney turned to me and said, "You know, I really wish I could just go tomorrow." I looked at her through the light of the moon with huge racoon eyes. I knew I must have just made that up, there is no way in the world that Whitney would want to go sooner then scheduled, so I asked, "Did I hear you right? Would you really want to go tomorrow instead of Wednesday, are you ready?" She looked at me confused, "Yeah, I'm just ready, I really just want to go." I was astounded. This whole time I had excused God's voice as my own ignorance and procrastination not wanting to go when I was supposed to, but I was blown out of the water, Whitney had heard the Lord too, and He had told her to go sooner, which meant we would switch spots making it so that she went sooner and I went later. We agreed to the arrangement and went to bed in our cabins with our wonderful girls- hearing fairy tales and mice throughout the night.



So the next day Whitney presents her teaching a so did Ben (our camp Artist and prayer guy, later on in the week he was planning a painting... it was amazing check him out at http://www.benhubbardart.com/ ). So that night I take time again to seek the Lord and He confirms that I am supposed to be teaching on Spiritual Warfare... which is never really a topic of choice and He also leads me to speak on the Armor of God which actually totally turned me off from teaching it at all, because everyone has heard the armor of God a million times and I just didn't want to, but the Lord wanted it, so I figured I'd go for it. At the end of the night, I still felt discouraged and figured that all of the switching and thinking Whitney and I heard the Lord was probably just bologna because I didn't feel any more prepared and had nothing more to speak of than the night before.

Sweetly Broken

To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing
For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love
And God is just

Chorus:
At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given
Through Christ crucified
You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled

Chorus

In awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous Your redeeming love and
How great is Your faithfulness

(2x’s) Chorus

I cannot tell you how much He means to me...
How is it that He takes the time to simply bring me to my knees?
He cares enough draw me closer to Him, to sweetly break me...
How is it that He continues to care?

Not only did He selflessly give of Himself for me, but He continues to do so...
He draws me
He wants me
He wants me more than He wants my effort
He wants me more than He wants me to fulfill big plans
He wants me more than He wants me to do anything
He wants me to be His

to be wholly surrendered

Lord I want You
I need You
Come near

I give it up, I leave it behind
I want You

I've tried other ways
and all leave me empty
with questions
with needs

Yet when I am faithless,
You remain faithfull
When I let go
You hold on

Your love is here

Magnetic Poetry... in class

Here is a poem (aka Yrteop- poetry backwards) that was created out of the magnetic poetry words in 5th and 6th grade class today

I cried out in the storm
Truth came like light
warm sun
Takes away mad wind

Always believe whispers of the King

hmmm... I thought it was amazing with the words given

Voting... Part 1 From a friend

Recently a friend of mine on Facebook posted a note about his feelings toward voting and how it may be contrary to what the Jesus Christ would have us do as Christians. After much prayer and thought I have concluded the following. As you read, I would suggest that you pray about what the Lord would have you do concerning issues like this and any other. The following is just what I have seen the Lord lead me to believe and do personally- if you feel the Lord is leading you in any other direction- by all means OBEY HIM! Here is his note, the next post was my response.

...Ok i now there gonna be peeps who really disagree with me on this and am happy you hold your beliefs passionately. i would hope and pray that you would confront me on any of this so we may talk about it and i could led you through why i have come to this conclusion and on what biblical stance this is coming from. Thanks you for your time.You cannot serve two masters at the same time. If you do you will wind up serving one and hating another. When we vote we must ask ourselve this question, why are we indorsing and supporting someone who is in fact not Jesus Christ. It would seem to me that in the bible jesus takes a clear path in this, not to be of this world. We are set apart from it, we live in it yet we are not of it. The voting process has become infatuated with big spending, lies and corruption. Why would we support these thing when we are told that all these are sins. When Obama or McCain could be using the millions apon millions to feed the poor and help the homeless they spend it on hateful and illworded campaign slogans and Ads.Lets take it back to the part where the bible says you cant serve two masters. I see a exact political parallel in this. We support these people and put their names on our cars. We put that fish and Religious bumperstickers on the back of of our cars and on the other side we put i support the war. May i remind you jesus was very clear on killing and loving our enemies.Its seems we brand ourselves with the names with what this world has to offer... we are set apart from this world. I see where people could get excited over this election. I mean whoever wins has the power to change history right? Wrong!!! it is the church, the body of christ who has the power to change history we just have forgotten that the power that is given to us is higher and more powerful than the worldly power that is given to a worldly man. Jesus, when he was being tempted in the desert by satan had the choice to have power over all, all he needed to do was to bow down and worship satan. Jesus refused tha power because he knew the corruption that came along with it. I would go so far to say that he knew that, that kind of power was weak and the only power on earth that could change history is the power of love.So which master will i boast in? which master will i lift up? I will lift up the master who says love your enemy, not bomb them. I will lift the master who says give to the needy and homeless, not take from the needy and homeless. I will lift up the master who claims he is the Son Of GOD and who has the true power to move the earth! The church has the power to move the nations we just have to remember where we come from and what true power is. true power is not bending over to the laws that go against everything that jesus stands for. Remember it says "we must obey god rather that human beings" (acts 5:29), maybe this is what st. augustine was getting at when he said, " an unjust law is no law at all." But the attitude of jesus ran deeper than the usual christian politics-that you obey the authorities when they are doing good, and you disobey authorities when they are doing bad. Getting back to the issue... True power is not voting for the person who you think has power. true power is not letting someone make choices for you. But true Power is us standing together as the body of christ, not to change the Government or to make a revolution but to show the world there is a better way. To show the world the love at which christ has shown us, and that jesus' way of economics and ruling is better. here an example of what god economy was getting at. every 7 years there would be something called the jubilee and this is when the isrealites would destroy all dept, would redistribute land, would set slaves free, to allow aliens into the land freely with love, and to give lovingly to the homeless and poor. You see god has the blueprints for a perfect way of life all we have to do is live by it and to follow it to the very depths of our hearts and souls. During the exile in the desert when the jewish people came out of Egypt, God had a plan for the people to be no ruler but God. Of course the people threw that away once they got into the promissed land and demanded from God a king to rule the land, a king that is able to be corrupted and decieved. But people there in the bible in dueteronomy are is the blue print for a wonderful kingdom, a wonderful nation. all it takes is the followers of christ to follow it and to live the christ lived with everything we have.I choose not to vote because i choose not to serve two masters. I follow christ. I have a few quotes from people who where of the early church..actually one was a roman scribe who was looking in on this group of christ followers. He called Abraham and commanded him to go out from the country where he was living. With this call God has aroused us all, and now we have left the state. we have renounced all the things the world has to offer.- Justin(origen, quoting celsus) " if everyone were to act the same as you christians, the national government would soon be left utterly derserted and without any help, and affairs on earth would soon be passedinto the hands of the most savage and wretched barbarians." [origen] celsus exhorts us to help the Emperor and be his fellow soldiers, to this we reply, " you cannot demand military service of christians any more you can of (roman)priests." We do not go forth as soldiers with the Emperor even if he damands this.[Origen goes on further to say that if the romans followed the teachings of jesus, there would be no barbarians.]-OrigenWe ourselves were well conversant with war, murder, and everything evil, but all of us throughout the whole wide earth have traded in out weapons of war. we have exchanged our swords for plowshares, our spears for farm tools...now we cultivate the fear of god, justice, kindness, faith, and the expectation of the future given us through the crucified one...the more we are persecuted and martyred, the more do others in ever increasing numbers become believers.-justin, martyred in 165 ADYou who are God's sevants are living in a foreign country, for your own city-state is far away from this city-state. Knowing which is yours, why do you acquire feilds, costly furnishings, buildings and frail dwellings here?Anyone who aquires things for himself in this city cannot expect to find the way home to his own city. Do you not realize that all these things here do not belong to you, that they are under a power of alien nature? The ruler will say you do not obey my laws, either observe my laws or get out of my country. Aquire no more here than what is absolutely necessary. Instead of feilds buy for yourselves people in distress with your means.-Hermas, 140 ADI do not strive to be a rulre. I do not strive for wealth. I refuse offices connected with military command. I dispise death.-TatianWe may live in the best babylon in the world(america)...but its still Babylon, and we are called to come out of her.--Tony Campolo(recent history)I RECOGNIZE NO EMPIRE OF THIS PRESENT AGE.-Speratus, Acts of the MartyrsHere is something shane claiborne wrote when he was in an interview with CBS when they asked him what he thinks of the war in Iraq and of America. They basically called him a traitor.i believe these words that he says and push it towards you.Traitor?If this bloody, counterfeit liberation is American...I am proud to be called un-AmericanIf depleted uranium is American...i am proud to be un-Americanif US sanctions are American...I am proud to be un-AmericanIf the imposed "peace" of Pax Americana is American...I am proud to be un-AmericanBut If grace, humility and nonviolence are American..I am proud to be AmericanIf sharing to create a safe, sustainable world is american...I am proud to be called americanIf loving our enemies is American...I am proud to called American.Regardless, I would die for the people of New York, but i will not kill for them...my kingdom is not of this worldI would die for the people of Baghdad, but i will not kill for them... my kingdom is not of this world. I will stand in the way of terror and war... my kingdom is not of this world.I will pledge an allegiance deeper than nationalism, to my GOD and to my family... my kingdom is not of this world. I will use my life to shout, " ANOTHER WORLD IS POSSIBLE" ...for my kingdom is from another place. "My kingdom is not of this world. If it were my servants would fight... but now my kingdom is from another place"[ Jesus;John 18:36](shane Claiborne)I RECOGNIZE NO EMPIRE OF THIS PRESENT AGE.

Response to Voting... part 1

Lars, you are absolutely right. God has chosen to use the church, the body of Christ. Does He need us, no, but He has chosen to use us and from the day of Pentecost on- He chose the body and bride of Christ to be His hands and feet on this earth. In John 16:7 Jesus spoke to the disciples saying that “Nevertheless I tell the truth. It is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away the Helper will not come to you; but if I depart I will send Him to you.” The Holy Spirit is now living inside each believer on this earth and moving and working in ways that are far above anything we can imagine. God alone has power and He is supreme in His power.

You referenced Matthew 6:24, “No one can serve two masters; for either he will love one and hate the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.” This is absolutely one of the best ways in which I see the life of a Christ follower shown through the words of Jesus. If you look into the Greek meanings of the words, in this passage, it makes it come to life so much more. The word serve here in this passage is douleuo (strong’s# G1398) which is a derivative of the Greek root doulos (G1401), this word would literally mean slave in its original context. Specifically defined as: One who is in a permanent relation of servitude to another, whose will is completely subject to the will of another. And then again looking up master and finding Kurios (strong’s# G2962) meaning: controller or one in supreme authority. Through this scripture it is such an amazing reminder that as we have declared Jesus Christ, Lord of our lives, we have now chosen that He is our supreme ruler and we have forfeited our own will and have become subject to His! Desiring not only to obey Him, but to trust Him and walk in the Spirit, keeping in line a moment by moment relationship with Him. Being how this is what I personally desire to do, to continue daily living in submission to the King and Kings, I find it hard to understand how you connect voting to it all. How can you reference my action of going to a voting booth and acting upon my God given right… or what you would reference as my “privelage” to vote as an act of serving, or in Greek enslaving, myself to another master, or supreme authority. It doesn’t quite work for me.

I will continue to choose to live for Him, and as I daily ask Him to guide my every thought, word, and action, this may lead me to the voting booth. Now, who I am going to vote for should not be an issue here, but there are certain said policies that will also be chosen with the candidate that I choose on the ballot. If so lead, I know there is always the final option on the ballot… “NONE OF THE ABOVE.”

This is now my question for you, friend: “How will not voting make a difference?”

I agree in that God alone has power, and He has said that we have power to do NOTHING (John 15:5), BUT if we abide in Him we have the true power to effect change in this world. Now, I don’t believe this power is being used fully in any tangible form or way through most of what I have seen, especially of the Body of Christ in this country. However, I choose to believe it can and I desire as you, to see a change made through the body. As I take a stand and begin to go out in obedience to what Christ calls me to do- I know His hand will be seen and His power will change things. As far as voting and making a difference goes though, I don’t see them as mutually exclusive. I humbly propose, that we can do both (if the Lord so calls). I think going to hang out with poor people in Reno, could very well be a way in which Christ wants to be seen through us, so perhaps after I cast my ballot I’ll drive my car an hour away to do just that. On the other hand, I may just be lead instead to walk down the street and spend time in the word with some ageing children of God in convalescent home down the street (this would even preserve some of the non-renewable resources we know as gas, in my car). Either way, when I go cast my vote, it is nice to remember that I have already chosen who is President or I mean supreme authority of my life, and that this is not the question that will be on the ballot, but rather as an informed citizen and power filled Christian I will walk in the will of my God and do what He asks of me.

As for me, I choose to be an extremist for love, which also leads me exercise my right to vote. As Shane Claiborne says, “There are times when injustice will take us to the streets and might land us in jail, but it is our love for God and our neighbor—not our rage or our arrogance—that counts.” I would however, encourage you to continue to walk in His ways and to be challenged by the complacency that it seems we, as a body and bride or Christ, have found ourselves in. Frankly, I’m sick of it too. I would love change the way things are, and will demonstrate His love in all I can, but instead of merely continuing in my apathetic ways and discussing my ideals, I’d prefer to put some action behind all of the talk… so let’s make a difference (and perhaps not so proudly and loudly…).

As you referenced:Giving to the Needy 1"Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. 2"So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 3But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Wishes...

The saddest thing is you could be anything
That you could want
We could have done everything
But now we can't
Now it's not anything at all
The hardest part was getting this close to you
And giving up this dream of being friends with you
A story that isn't coming true
You've got some growing up to do
I wish we could have worked it out
I wish i didn't have these doubts
I wish i didn't have to wonder just what you are doing now
I wish i didn't know inside
That it won't work out for you and i
I wish that i could stop this wishing and just say my last goodbye
After all the things you put me through
Tell me why i'm still wanting to hang with you
And why am i, why am i still waiting for your call
You broke my heart
I'm taking it back from you
And taking back the life i gave to youLife goes on before and after you
I've got some growing up to do
I wish we could have worked it out
I wish i didn't have these doubts
I wish i didn't have to wonder just what you are doing now
I wish i didn't know inside
That it won't work out for you and i
I wish that i could stop this wishing and just say my last goodbye
It's time i said my last goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
It's time i said my last goodbye
I wish we could have worked it out
I wish i didn't have these doubts
I wish i didn't have to wonder just what you are doing now
I wish i didn't know inside
That it won't work out for you and i
I wish that i could stop this wishing and just say my last goodbye
It's time i said my last goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
It's time i said my last goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
It's time i said my last goodbye

to be a slave...

what would it mean to truly follow Him
to make Him the master of my life?

I long for a greater power to rule over me
one that loves me

Being a slave to a Master who loves me
who is love

yet at times it seems that I am a slave to the very thing I despise

those little thoughts
little things
that I don't want to do...
and yet I do

How do I surrender to the Greater Master
How do I flee from the prison of sin

to come to Him...
to love Him...
not for freedom
not for heaven
not for blessings
but for Him... simply because I love
and I want Him

I want to stop hurting Him
I want to stop running from Him
I want to stop allowing our relationship to become cluttered
I want it to be pure again
I want to be in love with Him
I want Him

I can't do this...


oh, but you're right
we can

Owe- not there

I'm so not there... wow, how amazing it will be when I am close to the Lord like this! Lord, I really do want you!

The Delights of His Friendship. Genesis 18 brings out the delight of true friendship with God, as compared with simply feeling His presence occasionally in prayer. This friendship means being so intimately in touch with God that you never even need to ask Him to show you His will. It is evidence of a level of intimacy which confirms that you are nearing the final stage of your discipline in the life of faith. When you have a right-standing relationship with God, you have a life of freedom, liberty, and delight; you are God’s will. And all of your commonsense decisions are actually His will for you, unless you sense a feeling of restraint brought on by a check in your spirit. You are free to make decisions in the light of a perfect and delightful friendship with God, knowing that if your decisions are wrong He will lovingly produce that sense of restraint. Once he does, you must stop immediately.

The Difficulties of His Friendship. Why did Abraham stop praying when he did? He stopped because he still was lacking the level of intimacy in his relationship with God, which would enable him boldly to continue on with the Lord in prayer until his desire was granted. Whenever we stop short of our true desire in prayer and say, "Well, I don’t know, maybe this is not God’s will," then we still have another level to go. It shows that we are not as intimately acquainted with God as Jesus was, and as Jesus would have us to be— ". . . that they may be one just as We are one . . ." ( John 17:22 ). Think of the last thing you prayed about-were you devoted to your desire or to God? Was your determination to get some gift of the Spirit for yourself or to get to God? "For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him" ( Matthew 6:8 ). The reason for asking is so you may get to know God better. "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart" ( Psalm 37:4 ). We should keep praying to get a perfect understanding of God Himself.

When it comes to making decisions do you think God is there telling us exactly what to do? Step by step what the best thing to do is, or do you think he is just to urge us not to make the bad decisions but leaves it up to us to choose from the others... this would definitely support the non-robot analogy... it wouldn't be until we stopped just following the instruction manual and actually began using the brain and heart and spirit that He gave us, but at the same time I wonder if as a Father and best friend who sees far more than we do, does He lead us and tell us which way is the BEST. Any way could be okay, but is there a way better than the others. Yeah, so I feel like I have been so much in asking the Lord where to go and not received any lead or answer-- I know He has spoken to me before and told me where to go, kind of like school. I didn't come here because everyone told me to-- I actually went against common guidance from family and friends, but I heard the Lord... and I don't know what He has told me to do now. I can give you a million reasons why I should stay here and why I should go home and why I should go to Morocco... so what should I do? And why is there always a deadline? Man, can't the Father just tell me where to go?

"Prone to wander, Lord I feel it...
Prone to leave the One I love...
Here's my heart Lord, take and heal it...
heal it for thy work above!"

Surrender...

So yeah, why does this devotional always say the right thing at the right time?

So, two weeks ago if you asked me I would have said I was teaching in Morocco next year. Yesterday if you asked me I would have said I was going home next year... and today well... well today I am going into the elevator. I decided instead of trying to figure out which "floor" or path of this life I am going to choose, I am going to stop running up and down the stairwell to see which door is open I am going to just walk into the Elevator and hang out with Jesus, and when He decides which floor to go to-- He'll let me know and I'll go. I've said I'm an all or nothing person before, and I was reminded by the Lord today that I have been putting my all into nothing lately-- I've been concerned about myself... my future... my plans... me... when in reality my only focus should be HIM!!! Oh, to be in love with Him more!

Peter began to say to Him, ’See, we have left all and followed You’ —Mark 10:28

Our Lord replies to this statement of Peter by saying that this surrender is "for My sake and the gospel’s" (10:29). It was not for the purpose of what the disciples themselves would get out of it. Beware of surrender that is motivated by personal benefits that may result. For example, "I’m going to give myself to God because I want to be delivered from sin, because I want to be made holy." Being delivered from sin and being made holy are the result of being right with God, but surrender resulting from this kind of thinking is certainly not the true nature of Christianity. Our motive for surrender should not be for any personal gain at all. We have become so self-centered that we go to God only for something from Him, and not for God Himself. It is like saying, "No, Lord, I don’t want you; I want myself. But I do want You to clean me and fill me with Your Holy Spirit. I want to be on display in Your showcase so I can say, ’This is what God has done for me.’ " Gaining heaven, being delivered from sin, and being made useful to God are things that should never even be a consideration in real surrender. Genuine total surrender is a personal sovereign preference for Jesus Christ Himself.

Where does Jesus Christ figure in when we have a concern about our natural relationships? Most of us will desert Him with this excuse—"Yes, Lord, I heard you call me, but my family needs me and I have my own interests. I just can’t go any further" (see Luke 9:57-62 ). "Then," Jesus says, "you ’cannot be My disciple’ " (see Luke 14:26-33 ).

True surrender will always go beyond natural devotion. If we will only give up, God will surrender Himself to embrace all those around us and will meet their needs, which were created by our surrender. Beware of stopping anywhere short of total surrender to God. Most of us have only a vision of what this really means, but have never truly experienced it.

Surrender...

So yeah, why does this devotional always say the right thing at the right time?

So, two weeks ago if you asked me I would have said I was teaching in Morocco next year. Yesterday if you asked me I would have said I was going home next year... and today well... well today I am going into the elevator. I decided instead of trying to figure out which "floor" or path of this life I am going to choose, I am going to stop running up and down the stairwell to see which door is open I am going to just walk into the Elevator and hang out with Jesus, and when He decides which floor to go to-- He'll let me know and I'll go. I've said I'm an all or nothing person before, and I was reminded by the Lord today that I have been putting my all into nothing lately-- I've been concerned about myself... my future... my plans... me... when in reality my only focus should be HIM!!! Oh, to be in love with Him more!

Peter began to say to Him, ’See, we have left all and followed You’ —Mark 10:28

Our Lord replies to this statement of Peter by saying that this surrender is "for My sake and the gospel’s" (10:29). It was not for the purpose of what the disciples themselves would get out of it. Beware of surrender that is motivated by personal benefits that may result. For example, "I’m going to give myself to God because I want to be delivered from sin, because I want to be made holy." Being delivered from sin and being made holy are the result of being right with God, but surrender resulting from this kind of thinking is certainly not the true nature of Christianity. Our motive for surrender should not be for any personal gain at all. We have become so self-centered that we go to God only for something from Him, and not for God Himself. It is like saying, "No, Lord, I don’t want you; I want myself. But I do want You to clean me and fill me with Your Holy Spirit. I want to be on display in Your showcase so I can say, ’This is what God has done for me.’ " Gaining heaven, being delivered from sin, and being made useful to God are things that should never even be a consideration in real surrender. Genuine total surrender is a personal sovereign preference for Jesus Christ Himself.

Where does Jesus Christ figure in when we have a concern about our natural relationships? Most of us will desert Him with this excuse—"Yes, Lord, I heard you call me, but my family needs me and I have my own interests. I just can’t go any further" (see Luke 9:57-62 ). "Then," Jesus says, "you ’cannot be My disciple’ " (see Luke 14:26-33 ).

True surrender will always go beyond natural devotion. If we will only give up, God will surrender Himself to embrace all those around us and will meet their needs, which were created by our surrender. Beware of stopping anywhere short of total surrender to God. Most of us have only a vision of what this really means, but have never truly experienced it.

Today's Upmost for His Highest

This devotional this morning was convicting and true.

As long as I am not trying to plant myself and I allow Him to plant me-- I wont loose the vision-- I won't be on my own-- though it tarries, I will wait for it. So this is what I am doing. I am waiting for it... I am clasping on to the hand of the Lord and I am not letting go-- I want nothing but to be walking with my Lord-- wherever that may be! I also recognize that I can't get so caught up in waiting and focusing on the practical things that I do not live my Upmost for His Highest in all things- here and now- making my e-folio- writing lesson plans- etc. So here I go...

I will live and walk in the light of God's vision!

March 11, 2007

Obedience to the "Heavenly Vision"

I was not disobedient to the heavenly vision —Acts 26:19

If we lose "the heavenly vision" God has given us, we alone are responsible— not God. We lose the vision because of our own lack of spiritual growth. If we do not apply our beliefs about God to the issues of everyday life, the vision God has given us will never be fulfilled. The only way to be obedient to "the heavenly vision" is to give our utmost for His highest— our best for His glory. This can be accomplished only when we make a determination to continually remember God’s vision. But the acid test is obedience to the vision in the details of our everyday life— sixty seconds out of every minute, and sixty minutes out of every hour, not just during times of personal prayer or public meetings.

"Though it tarries, wait for it . . ." ( Habakkuk 2:3 ). We cannot bring the vision to fulfillment through our own efforts, but must live under its inspiration until it fulfills itself. We try to be so practical that we forget the vision. At the very beginning we saw the vision but did not wait for it. We rushed off to do our practical work, and once the vision was fulfilled we could no longer even see it. Waiting for a vision that "tarries" is the true test of our faithfulness to God. It is at the risk of our own soul’s welfare that we get caught up in practical busy-work, only to miss the fulfillment of the vision.

Watch for the storms of God. The only way God plants His saints is through the whirlwind of His storms. Will you be proven to be an empty pod with no seed inside? That will depend on whether or not you are actually living in the light of the vision you have seen. Let God send you out through His storm, and don’t go until He does. If you select your own spot to be planted, you will prove yourself to be an unproductive, empty pod. However, if you allow God to plant you, you will "bear much fruit" ( John 15:8 ).

It is essential that we live and "walk in the light" of God’s vision for us ( 1 John 1:7 ).

Post from a friends bog...

Here is a post from a friends blog... Wow... I feel like this

I have often envied the prophets. Most people look at their lives and see how difficult it must have been for them. How difficult it must have been to preach with no fruit. To live friendless, without family, without material things, without a comfort in the world. They seem like very unenviable people. But I envy them. You know what I envy? The certainty of their call. Moses heard the voice of God from a burning bush. Elijah had fire fall from heaven to confirm his ministry. The Apostles looked at the Son of God in the face and heard his commands directly. There was no doubt. Even walking through the valley of the shadow of death there was that one thing they could still bank on: God told me to walk here.

So I envy them at times. I certainly don’t suffer like them, but at times I think I would be willing to if only I could have their certainty. It’s the scariest thing in the world to lie awake at night and wonder if I’m on the right path. I don’t mean the right path as in following Jesus; I’m not haunted by those doubts anymore. I mean if the path I’m on, or the path I’m shooting for, the path that Jesus is on? Am I actually following him or did I jump on this train as a result of my own ambitions or desires to look radical and nuts? I never had a burning bush experience. God didn’t speak to me one night from a whirlwind and tell me to kick it off to the Sindh, but here I am anyway. Why? How have I been called to this work? Have I been called?

But whenever these doubts come up I remember what I have heard. How hundreds of tiny circumstances in my life (each one meaningless on its own) have worked together to bring me here. Coincidences that just cannot be coincidence. The people and events that God called into my life have practically driven me here without my help. Has God sent me here? Sure as hell (or heaven, for that matter). And I think of the general call of Christ. Remember his last words in Matthew? Most preachers focus on the part that says ‘into all the world’ or ‘make disciples’. You know what part I like the best? “All authority has been given to me. Go, therefore…” I am the king of the world. So go. The highest authority has told me to go. So I must go.

But this call business is pretty tricky, isn’t it? I’ve lay awake many a night before coming here trying so hard to figure out what I was supposed to do with my life. All the while scared to death that I might pick the wrong path and be screwed for the rest of my life. The path didn’t really show up until I stopped trying to hard. That’s the thing with a call, you can’t figure it out until the call actually comes, then you just have to answer. But how on earth do we know if we are called? I thought of a few ideas:

First, realize that you are called. Whether you live in Canada, India or Saudi, if you are sealed by the Spirit of Holiness you have been called. God doesn’t divide his people into levels with missionaries and monks on the top and normal folks somewhere near the bottom. Whether you are preaching in a desert tent or fixing a leak in your home in Niagara Falls, God has called you to display the riches of his glory. There is a general call for all children of God to live radical lives of obedience that show people around that Christ is our treasure and only him. In this way you have been called. But what about a special call? Like a call to a ministry or crazy-go-nuts place?

That brings us to an inner witness. Jeremiah said that the Word of God was like a fire in his bones, he was weary of holding it in. That’s an inner witness to a different type of life. Some of us simply feel (perhaps subjectively, perhaps fallibly) that they should be somewhere doing something different.

There’s the witness of circumstance. When everything in your life seems to be pointing towards that one thing that keeps coming back to your mind. God is in control of every atom in the universe, it makes sense that he would use the events of our lives to point us in the way we should go.

There’s the witness of joy. Joy is very important in the Christian life. If you truly are aching to see what God’s will is for your life, follow the joy. If your heart is close to his your joy will be what honors him. And what honors him cannot be bad.

There’s the witness of Scripture. When a part of the Bible speaks to you about something specific in a new way.

Can we ever figure out what the will of God really is for our lives? Of course! In fact, you should know it already! The Bible says that God’s will for our lives is our sanctification. God’s will for every single believer is to see them sanctified. We talk about calls to go and calls to stay, in the end they are all just ways that God uses to get us (and others) sanctified, made holy.

So I would offer this 1.5 cents worth of advice to those of you who are wondering what the heck God wants with them: Look at your life. Look at where you have been and where you are now. Look at the people who are in your life and the options around you. Look at your heart. Where does the joy lie? Where does the chance for sanctification lie? I bet none of you will have rock-solid answers for those. I’ve been here for almost two years and I still don’t know what’s going to happen down the road, but I’ve thrown my chips in here. I’ve bet everything on this single hand. The comforting thing about working for the Kingdom is this: When you’ve bet everything, there is nothing to lose. And Jesus promises to pay me back. I guess if all you want to do is make Jesus look glorious, get yourself sanctified and love every human you come in contact with, it doesn’t matter much where you go.