i don't know

at this point in time, i just don't know
someone asked me today
how is it

and i simply have to say
i don't know

life is not bad
but i can't say life is incredibly exciting

i can say God is good
but that is it

i don't know where i am going
but He does

i don't know how i will make it
but He does

i don't have the strength to go on
but He does

i don't have the love to share to all those around
but He does

i don't understand what is going on in the world
but He does

i don't know how to change the world
but He does

i'm so glad He does, especially when i don't

only Him

i have completed the first week of student teaching in kindergarten
in this place i see the need for love
and i love as best is professionally allowed

but is that enough

i see their faces light up
as they can finally spell there name
after seeing the "trick" to writing an "e" to finish their name

i see their faces light up as they finally
can finish a puzzle on their own
i told them they could- they just didn't believe it

but that is not enough

they need that love
that only He can offer

they need the strength to go on
knowing they can do anything
that only He can offer

so what can i do

i teach them how to tie their shoes
i sing with them songs about colors
and shine as best as i can to show them they need

Him

what else can i do

Part of a superchick song... stuck in my head

"this is my last verse and its for everyone feeling not so great today.
We don't know what's coming just around the bend.
Always hard to believe in your own life,
its easier to find belief for a friend.
A hope for you and for me and together we can say...
It'll be Okay!"

friends are so worth having

They hate you.

Yesterday I was talking with someone about wanting to go to the middle east and learning the language and culture and you know just being a light, when the person I was talking to said... "why? you know that they hate you, right?"

This question has thus been one I have been pondering... not in a good or bad way persay, just pondering- you know.

The thing is, is that I know that to an extent it is true... yet at the same time I know that I love the people, and frankly I don't really care that they hate...me?! Because they don't even know me, which I think exactly correlates with Christianity as well. More than just people of other religions, but even people who at one time called themselves Christians... some say that they hate God, but they don't even know Him, and yet He loves them because they are His children. The cool thing is that only being in a relationship with God will fill that eternity gap within their being, so not matter what people do to try and feel complete, they wont until they find Him and His love and truly become THE Beloved.

So, why do I want to go to a place where it is said they hate me? Again, as I typed that, I thought of Christ... Could you imagine Christ in the days leading up to Him going down to the earth, think of the critical angels(yeah right, I'm sure they didn't think like this- but its kind of entertaining to think about)

Angel: "Dude, Jesus, why do you have to go- especially down there? You know they hate you right? You know they are just going to kill you, spit on you, and even those you call friends will deny you..."

Jesus: "Yeah, but their my brothers, and I love them. What am I supposed to do, just let them go to hell? I don't care what they do to me as long as they realize what they're missing out on and they know that Dad's just waiting for them to come home... Besides you realize that death can't hold me down, right? I get to RISE UP... man that'll be cool, can you imagine the look on those people's faces- ha... it'll be sweet!"

Okay, so I doubt they talk like that or ever had a conversation like that, but if you think about it its kind of true...

AND Matthew 25:14 says "And this gospel will be preached in ALL the world as a witness to all the nations, and then the end will come." MAN, I want to go home... riding on the clouds at the trumpets call... so I'm gonna do something about it... I'm going to help preach the this gospel to ALL the world and just in case you didn't know the 10/40 on a map is the area in which there are the most unreached people IN the entire world... So that's were I'm going to go- whether they hate me and my God or not... when they really get to know us... I know they'll love us!

So these were just my thoughts for today... Right now I'm looking out my window at a parked white van with someone in it.... thats kind of weird... anyway, as you can tell I'm not staying focused very well, but if anyone reads this if you don't understand or think I'm crazy- it's okay with me, but if you would like clarification, let me know... I like talking, especially about Jesus!

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At School...

So I have returned to the WU... right now it is very quiet as not very many people are here yet, but I find it very relaxing. This summer wasn't uptight or anything, but I enjoy having the chill time with the Lord, the uncluttered and uneventful times just chillaxin' you know. I like it. I do miss my family and friends already, but as most of you know this will be my last year here, the senior- I know... bittersweet. So, what then you may ask, well, I am asking the same question, but not with anxiousness, I know this is where the Lord has brought me thus far and I have no reason in my entire thinking to doubt the one and only faithful One! So now, we may ask Him together what's next for Kallie? Some have given me suggestions, but so far the Lord has not confirmed or denied any such planning of any sort. I say "well, I have loans to pay off," but then He reminds me that He is not only the God of the heavens and earth but also of my finances, so all of my options are wide open. All I know is that He is good and following His ways thus far have not been disappointing one bit. Man, I love knowing the Lord, it is just refreshing that I don't have to worry about what life holds, because I know the One who holds life. Peace just over whelms me as I think of what an amazing God I have and that He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all that I can ask or think... aahh I like that!